Seeing The Words...

     I have been working on this book for almost two years now and over that time I have struggled with seeing the words on the screen in front of me. I have had to take breaks from writing to better collect my thoughts and emotions. I never thought that I would have these struggles with expressing myself through writing because it has always been one of the only ways I have been able to successfully express myself. 
     When I first started to write my story I simply blurted it out into the keys on my laptop, I just wanted the bulk of the pain out but there was a moment that I will never forget. The first time I typed the words "rape", my hands froze and my heart sank. I stared at the screen for hours that long Saturday afternoon, looking at the word like it was going to change or somehow not apply to me. Just thinking about that moment makes my heart race and my palms sweat. 
     There is no preparation for the first time you see that word "rape" and know it is apart of you for the rest of your life. It's like when you say it for the first time, for me my mouth went dry and my chest became heavy. There is so much emotion that explodes inside of someone who has suffered a sexual assault when you start to face the road ahead not knowing what will be in your path. For many the path is a lonely and fearful one, I myself have felt that many times and it is never easy to reach out when you don't know what it truly is that you need. 
     Having these struggles has caused me to miss a few deadlines but having a publisher whom understands the difficulties of this journey for me has been a blessing. I know that over the next month I will be faced with more challenges when dealing with editing, looking back through all of the struggles of the past two years will not be easy but it will all be worth it in the end. I will be stronger because of the journey. 
     Thanks for reading everyone, God Bless.

<3 Talie Marie